all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
