You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
