I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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