i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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