school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
