I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
