Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
