How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i think i have two assholes
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
