And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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