Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There are leaves in my underwear?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize