my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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