it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
