Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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