They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
