there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
