I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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