Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
