By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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