i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
