I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
