Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
