Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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