It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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