when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
