as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
