You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
