I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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