Christians are straight up FREAKS
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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