i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
