Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Mom said you looked used
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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