I think my fart just growled at me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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