My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
