OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize