i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
