Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
