Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
