hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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