Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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