You really coming over, don't trick.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
