So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
