did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
