Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
