problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
