so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
