I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
