What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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