you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My dick has a subreddit
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
