I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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