We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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