Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize