Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
