now i know why i became what i already was.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You were trust falling into bushes
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
