did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
