no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
