Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
